All Hearts Day!!!!!

HAPPY ALL HEARTS DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[as the Swedes say]

Do's and Don'ts:
Don't spend it with two unaffectionate bunnies who would rather fight over a brussels sprout than come and snuggle your leg.
Don't give your loved ones cruciferous vegetables.
Don't wear your vampire teeth.
Do take the price tag off any gifts.
Do sign your valentine card. Some of us get confused.
Do shave. Even if your single.
Do take a bath. BATHS ARE THE BEST THING EVER!!!!! There are bubbles for grown ups.
[these may or may not all be mistakes I have made...]

When I was in Rome, you know, as these over-travelled Europeans can commonly boast, I was in some Cathedral, probably one dedicated to the Holy Virgin, and I saw the skull of St. Valentine. It wasn't pretty.


Apparently, he kept marrying Christians when they were being persecuted by Claudius II. Imagine sending Valentine's Day cards with an image of a skull rather than hearts. And, did you know, that hearts were never shaped on the human organ, but based on the shape of a cherub's bottom? When you think your Valentine is being sweet with all those hearts, just keep thinking 'it's really a heinie' and see if that doesn't check any inordinate affection.