The Not-So-Sensible Way of Confronting the Future

When I applied to colleges, I remember loads of people making huge lists-- applying to 7 or 8 different Universities just to make sure they got in, even if it wasn't one they really wanted. This annoyed me so instead of being sensible and spreading my net broadly, I only applied to places I wanted to go: UNC, Davidson, and Hillsdale, UNC by far being my first choice. And I got in to UNC.

My senior year of college when everyone goes through the --ah what are we going to do this time next year-- I determined I wanted to go to graduate school, but whats more, I only wanted to go to graduate school in Edinburgh. It was the first place that had really felt like home since my time in Singapore. I had a church I loved and that continually lavished me with family. I had good friends whom I'd known since first year who were keen for me to live with them. It was a degree that would help me pursue a doctorate if I wanted or enable to me to get another job-- either teaching or one in a museum. And best of all, Fran was there. And I got in to Edinburgh.

For this next year, I did the same thing again. Instead of casting my net widely and applying to loads of places for a Phd, I only wanted to work with one lady-- I really had no interest in anything else. Of course I worried I wouldn't get it, but I didn't bother with a contingency plan, which, is v. unlike me. Somehow, I was at peace whatever would happen. And then I received my offer.

Oddly enough, in this way, I see the Lord's goodness to me. Rather than doing the sensible thing and applying everywhere, I've only done what I really wanted to and trusted in Psalm 37:4-- that if you delight yourself in the Lord, he will give you the desires of your heart. I'm not sure how well I've fulfilled the first half of that verse, the Lord certainly has granted the latter half, though I be so very undeserving.