The Playground

This job as a nanny requires me to pick the children up at school, one a little before the other, and this allows us a half an hour gap to play. Being not yet as old as mummy, but not quite a school child, the younger kiddos think it great fun to enroll me in their games, and chase me without fail. Here are how my cultural differences affected my ability to play tag:

I 'tagged' a little boy, but he said it didn't count because I didn't say 'tig'. Right, ok, so next time, say 'tag'.

Well next time, I tagged a child, and said 'you're it!' That didn't count either because I didn't say 'tig'.

Attempt three, did not count because I said 'tag' instead of 'tig.' This ensued in an argument. 'THE GAME IS CALLED TAG!!' 'No its not, the game is TIG. TIG.' What kind of stupid name is tig, when its tag. This country can't pronounce things properly...

Fourth attempt: 'No! It doesn't count. He was in DEN!' What in the world is den? 'Do you mean base?' 'What's base? Thats den. You can't tig people when you're in den.' AUGH. So not only is the word 'tag' wrong, but so is 'base'! Basically all thats left of this game is the premise.

Fifth attempt: 'Tig! You're it! You're not in den!' There, I did everything your stupid way. 'Naw! You didn't tag me- I didn't feel anything! You didn't get me! You're it! You're it!' What am I supposed to do? Shove this little bugger face first on the concrete?

Sixth attempt: 'Tig!' 'No, he was in den!' 'NO HE WAS NOT!' 'YES HE WAS. HE'S NOT IT. YOU ARE!' 'FINE, I'm not playing. He was not on den and I am not it!' And then the awful, chorus of 'CHEAT CHEAT CHEAT CHEAT CHEAT CHEAT CHEAT CHEAT'.

Ah now, there's finally something familiar, the mercilessness of children on the playground being directed at anyone else as long as its not you. And I hear the rumble of feet and I look up and they're all on a desserted beach and Piggy is pushing his glasses up on his nose, and one of them builds a gathers wood for a fire, and oh surely not, its Lord of the Flies all over again.