Unreasonable Requests

A painting of Daphnis and Chloe in the Louvre in Paris.

I think one of the most hysterical things about brides is the amount of unreasonable requests they tend to make, unintentionally and without meaning to, I'm sure it just simply happens. Ok bridesmaids, pick out your own dresses! Colors range from cream to light brown. No, I don't like that one. No, I don't like that one, No, I don't like that. Nope, nope, nope. Here, buy this one. Wait actually no, I'll wear that to my rehearsal dinner. I find these terribly amusing, and I look forward with great anticipation to the unreasonable requests I am bound to make.  But the ones I do make won't be the ones I want to make, so I've made a list of unreasonable requests I wish I could make:

1. Read all the books I have ever read on love and discuss them with me.  Anna Karenina, Persuasion, The Aeniad, Plato's Symposium,  Malory's Lancelot and Guinevere, and my favorite classical book on love and sex, Daphnis and Chloe.  What does it all mean, I WANT TO KNOW.

2. Drink champagne with me all the time.

Those are the main ones. Then there's stuff like this:

- Have it sunny all the time
- To not to have to cap the guest list and just invite anyone I have ever liked
- To have everyone costume dress, like they just stepped out of a Claude Monet painting
- To have someone explain to me everything I will ever need to know about marriage now
- For someone to interpret British-isms (especially those of Francis): when you say this, what do you really mean?
- For some place in Durham to make really good queso