On breaking lent

View from College window

How sad is it that while tentatively making weddings plans, at the back of my mind, I keep rearranging my New Year's Resolutions: Better move 'achieve grade one on violin' to next year.  Add 'survive planning a wedding' instead.  I daily consider eloping. Wedding thoughts also make me very homesick, wishing on all my stars I was home with my mom and sister. This much happiness shouldn't be contained just within me, but shared with the ones I love most.

In even worse disarray than my New Year goals are my goals for lent.  Every year they are much harder than I expect.  Read a poem a day from A Heart's Time. I am twenty days behind. I am hoping I can at least get to the holy week poems before Easter Sunday hits. Try not to go out to eat. I found myself eating fish and chips three times last week. Since when do I ever eat fish and chips? Attend evensong more. I've attended it maybe twice and one of those times I entered the Cathedral holding a cardboard cut-out cow.  I feel like Lent may not even be about keeping your lists of goals, but more about watching yourself break them blatantly, again and again. There's something about that that genders humility in me.

I'm thoroughly looking forward to the East holidays. We'll be spending a few days in Cornwall with Fran's family, some in Southampton, and then a few in Scotland.  It'll be nice to be traveling again.  Right now the wind just sounds wicked outside of college, and the forecast says snow. Days like these I am so thankful for LL Bean boots. xo